Growing Pains

So, today was Noah's very first day of summer camp....actually, summer programming would be a more appropriate term. We have enrolled him in 4 weeks of various half day programs. This week is "Jumpstart Kindergarden". Let's just say, I had some reservations.

Those of you who know Noah well, know that he is kind of attached to me. When he started at the "Jardin d'Enfants" in Geneva, I had to stay in the classroom with him for an entire week. I sat in the corner and nursed Rebekah (who was about 6 months at the time) on the classroom floor.

So, imagine my surprise, when this morning, Noah headed right into the classroom with the other kids! He was hesitant, that I could tell, but the point is, he went!!

Noah has also started to ask to play outside by himself. There is a little girl who lives across the street who is the same age, and she is often out in front of her house playing. The street is very quiet as it is a cul-de-sac with only eight houses on it. There are a lot of kids around, riding bikes and playing on most days. Noah would still much rather I go out with him, but he is quickly realizing that I can't just drop everything and go out with him whenever he wants me to.

I am still totally paranoid about him going anywhere out of my sight. I don't want him to play outside alone, even if I can see him from the window. I have to admit that today I spent about a 1/2 hour neurotically rushing from window to window trying not to let Noah out of my sight as he played outside.....just in our yard. And that is while the landscapers were here working in the yard too!

I don't REALLY want Noah to go to summer camp, because it terrifies me to leave him in the care of people whom I don't even know. As much as I need a break from him some days, I watched the clock anxiously this morning, eager to pick him up from his first day at camp.

As much as I don't want some of these things to happen, Kevin is encouraging them. I think it stems from the fact that in his fatherly wisdom he realizes that up to this point Noah has had a bit of an unnatural attachment to us...particularly me. Up until recently, he still wanted me to do everything for him....right down to dressing him. When other kids his age were fighting to do things themselves, we were fighting with Noah to get him to do things FOR himself. Now Noah is expressing a tiny interest in some independence, and Kevin seems to realize that this is the critical time when we can squash it, or cultivate it.

Having said all of that, I realize that this is important for Noah, but that doesn't make it any easier for me! There is a quote that comes to mind right now....''Having a baby is like taking your own heart, giving it arms and legs and letting it go".

Man, was I feeling that today!